funnierwithwine

A humorous look at the little things in life

Of stupid signage, stupid weeds and stupid Anita July 27, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashleyolsonrosen @ 2:25 pm
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Recommended wine for today’s entry: 2007 Monte Antico Toscana IGT. A confession: I jacked this recommendation from an article at cobizmag.com written by Cathie Beck, the author of Cheap Cabernet: A Friendship (which I also recommend) … anyway, SHE got the recommendation from bargainredwines.com, so peruse the whole list at your leisure! They describe this choice as “a medium-bodied, almost light wine. It’s flavorful from start to finish with tastes of sun-dried tomato and faint oak or black pepper, or maybe even worcestershire sauce. It’s extremely versatile, good by itself or with almost any food, especially dishes with cheese or strong vegetable flavor, where you want a wine that complements and doesn’t try to overpower.” Best of all, it’s widely available and only around $11!

Here just a few random things that have given me pause lately.

1) Recently, this sign was posted at the end of one of the state roads out here in the sticks. Oh, wait — these two signs were posted. I always wondered if roads could have split personalities.

Sybil works for the KY Dept of Transportation

I hate to tell ANYONE how to do their jobs, but I can’t help but think that the same DOT worker who hauled out to our neck of the woods to install the high-faluting flashy sign announcing that the road had reopened MIGHT JUST HAVE BEEN THE PERFECT PERSON to remove the OTHER sign that announced the road closed. 

Just a thought.

2) And this is what happens when you think like an SAT test and you are totally bored, pulling weeds in 130-degree heat.

If foot size is related to human height, and root length is related to weed height, how tall would this dandelion have gotten?

If Foot size: Height and Root length: Dandelion Height, just how HUGE was this sucker headed?

Now, I’m no mathmetician, but if that’s my foot and I grew to be 5’5″ tall, that dandelion was headed for about 6’2″.

3) I recently got a super-nice e-mail from Anita, who said she is 25 years of knowing me. She saw me and zoosk.com and GUESS WHAT? She has interesting in get to know me better!!

Just in case I was getting a big head from all the unsought attention, she also let me know in plain terms that she “doesn’t think that age and appearance are very much matter.”

Well, Anita, at the risk of seeming like a skeptic right here in the face of your direct and honest flirtation, I have to admit that it seems you are just trying to woo me with your astounding sensitivity before you send your request for 100,000 US dollars to be deposited to an account in Mozambique. Because if that’s your goal in get to know me better — as if you could, considering you have 25 years of knowing me already — I have to tell you, I am not your type. And I happen to think that age and appearance matter very much. Also, I am married. To a man.

I really don’t think Anita has 25 years of knowing me AT ALL and perhaps she is a liar.

… oh, and what the hell is ZOOSK.com? I’m assuming it stands for Zero Other Options, Screw Kentuckians.

Well, little missy, not this wise woman. I know you too well for that.

 

 
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