funnierwithwine

A humorous look at the little things in life

Random babble about newsmakers, college hoops and marital bliss March 29, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashleyolsonrosen @ 6:14 pm
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Recommended wine for today’s entry: Taburno Falanghina, an Italian white wine from the Cantina del Taburno winery. I enjoyed a bottle of this (in a couple of sittings, I swear!) last weekend, and I can recommend it to those of you who like pinot grigios. As Brenda Maitland described it at http://www.bestofneworleans.com/gambit/2009-cantina-del-taburno-falanghina/Content?oid=1338060, it has, “aromas of white blossoms, peach, melon and citrus, followed by more stone fruit on the palate, with apricots, almond flavors, tart apple, lemon rind, a touch of honey and a stony minerality. It has great acidity and a long, clean finish.” And Emeril serves it at his restaurant in New Orleans! (Just a side note: it comes in a very tall bottle that won’t fit in your standard wine cooler, but it’s worth the refrigerator space!)

Every once in awhile, I need to purge the thoughts that are banging around in my head. So I decided to purge them on you today.

Am I the only one who thinks that Muammar Qaddafi looks like he’s wearing a mask made of human skin?

Basketball overload: I admit that I have watched WAYYYYY too much NCAA basketball the past few weeks. But I have to offer my sincere kudos to the marketing exec who made the decision to make Reese’s peanut butter cups a sponsor of college hoops. Because I had the clearest, longest, most memorable dream last night… of my dad’s former law partner’s wife, dressed as a Reese cup. Completely understandable, considering the number of times I saw their logo and ads in recent days. Why she was also a duck, I can’t really explain.

My artwork doesn’t do her justice; she actually is quite fetching. Even as a duck. The dream got a little weird after that and some big behemoth guy got mad at me for quacking at Marinell (the partner’s wife) and stuffed me headfirst into the pocket on a pool table.

I told you this blog was about random things. You really should believe me.

Planning for the future: I was watching Fox News and my idol, Megyn Kelly, did a story on these elderly women from a Las Vegas nursing home who, for an outing, put on make up and went and got their hair did and donned some smashing outfits (I’m being serious — they looked great) and they went to a CHIPPENDALES SHOW.  They even had to beep out one of the ladies when she said, “Well, I’ll tell you what I’d like to see more of … BEEEEEEEP.”

YOU GO GIRL! For all my lady friends who like to have a Girls Night Out, there’s hope for us! I figure if we are acting like we’re 25 at 50 (I’m thinking Pub Crawl) … at 75, we can act like we’re … 26! Perfect! I can see us now: freshly permed hair, a nicely oiled walker (I’d hate for it to squeak and make itself obvious) and a fanny pack filled with pre-folded one-dollar bills. Who’s in?

People are stupid: Just another update on the braintrusts who respond to Ashton Kutcher’s facebook posts. He put on a (very cute) video of two little kids — like 18-months old maybe, jabbering to each other. Ashton wrote: “Primitive communication. As a twin, I appreciate this.” Here are just a sampling of their comments (and mine, in italics):

…they make me wants twins… (maybe hold off til you master that pronoun/verb agreement issue or you’ll be teaching them to say, “I screams, you screams, we all screams for ice cream” and people will thinks your twins is stupid.)

WOW I REAL LOVE TWIM. ITS IS VERY CONVSATION WITH BABY TWIM. THEY ARE LEARN TO COMMUNICATION FOR TWIM A BABY GET TIME. (now perhaps English is not this person’s first language. I have to admit, if I wanted to say “learn to communication for twim a baby get time” in say, Italian, I wouldn’t be able to do it. Besides, the only language this reminds me of is the one Balki Bartokomous spoke.)

I bet there talking about the sexy blonde next door with big boobs and how they want to drink her milk. lol (Excellent, Luis, now you’ve gone and made a cute little U-Tube of two little babies in diapers into something sick and twisted. You should feel proud. And while I’m ranting, why can’t ANYONE discern between they’re, their and there???)

The other bird in my empty nest: Last week, my husband and his co-workers decided to go see a movie, and they were nice enough to include me, probably so that I would get off my butt and stop watching basketball and eating peanut butter cups. We saw Cedar Rapids, which I can honestly recommend — IF YOU ARE NOT IN MIXED COMPANY AND NOT WITH COWORKERS. There was literally a sex scene in the first three minutes of the movie. Seriously? They have ratings for a reason. Luckily, one of the players was Andy Bernard from The Office, so it wasn’t exactly steamy.

I was giddy, because now every time I do something that my husband deems inappropriate, I can just reply, “Oh, I’m sorry. By ‘inappropriate,’ do you mean,  like — you know — taking your female colleagues to see porn?” 

And speaking of my husband, the other night we had a date and tried a new restaurant. It was going very well until he leaned toward me and said, in a very sweet voice, “You know, low light suits you.”

In his defense, it was a pretty funny line. He did pay for it,though, because I spit out a bunch of my $12 glass of wine, resulting in the need to buy me a whole NEW glass.

Thanks for listening.I feel much better now, and ready for the Final Four.

I really think venting helped me purge some demons — especially the art therapy with the Reese’s duck.

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5 Responses to “Random babble about newsmakers, college hoops and marital bliss”

  1. Go Kentuck! Even though they beat my UNC…great post!

  2. Kevin Says:

    There is no such thing as “WAYYYYY too much NCAA basketball” during March Madness. Great post!

  3. Deb Says:

    I think Qadaffi looks like he had bad plastic surgery. Like that one chick’s mom on Real Housewives of Miami? He looks like Mama Elsa.

    Also, I think we should all get together and decide how we are going to spell “Qadaffi.” It annoyed me in the 80s and it annoys me now.

    I am with you on the stupid Ashton Kutcher commenters, except I am wondering if you realize by commenting on the Ashton Kutcher commenters you are, in fact, admitting YOU FOLLOW ASHTON KUTCHER.

    I love Megyn Kelly. She is one tough broad. Specially for such a pretty girl. Have you ever noticed how all the female news people on Fox have exotic names? Harris Faulkner? Uma Pemmeraju? Is it a prerequisite or something?

    • Pennie Medley Says:

      Hilarious! When you described the EGNO (elderly girls’ night out), I thought you were talking about my mother-in-law. She is currently in Vegas with her 82 year old girlfriend, both sporting fanny packs. They invited me, but I declined. I went with them several years ago, and I’m ashamed to admit that I couldn’t keep up. They drink more than me, gamble more, eat less, and don’t believe in sleeping at all. So rest up —apparently ‘late middle age’ can be pretty busy!

  4. ashleyolsonrosen Says:

    Glad to know there are other basketball addicts out there!! Just wondering … is anyone else upping their intake of Reese’s cups?

    Deb, you hit the nail on the head with Qaddafi’s facial structure! Mama Elsa it is! And I think the Fox News women have it ALL — great names, gorgeous, law degrees, …

    Pennie – Hahaha, I love your mother in law! I want to go to Vegas with them! I have a fanny pack already. And I’m so stealing your EGNO acronym.


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