I have totally found the best way to adjust to an empty nest!
I mean, here I am at the end of Week One of Being Stuck With No One To Fight With All Day, and the house is even still clean from when the cleaning ladies came on Tuesday. So unless I want to clean dumb things like baseboards, that people only notice if they pass out on the floor, I didn’t exactly need to stay home and clean at night. Also, my husband and I have come to an awesome agreement regarding dinner – I said there isn’t dinner anymore and he went and bought a loaf of bread and a pound of turkey. So I don’t need to do dumb stuff like go to the stupid grocery or heat the stupid oven anymore.
Actually, I don’t even know if I miss the girls yet. That is because my phone rings about every 30 minutes with a crisis/perceived crisis/complaint/question/gleeful quiz report/laundry conundrum/professor crush … well, you get the picture. And because I have TWO daughters, they are never in class at the same time, so there isn’t even a full hour that I can escape. I know, I know, just don’t answer it, you’re too accessible, they’ll figure it out. Well that’s easy for YOU to say.
You KNOW that the one time I don’t answer it will be the time that they can’t remember just what they’re supposed to do before crossing the street and before I know it, they’ll be smooshed by a city bus.
So I took my phone and I went out. In an effort to keep my absent children in the forefront of my mind, I went out with their friends’ moms. What better tribute to my little dumplings, right? Well, Wednesday night I went out with my younger daughter’s best friends moms, then on Thursday night one of my old friends had a bunch of us Newly Deserted Moms over to her house, where we drank our sorrows and laughed a LOT.
So Week One is in the record books.
Here is a picture from Wednesday. Well, actually, the one on the left is the kitties — my youngest and her three best friends, the day before they began the Great Migration to Places That Are Far More Fun Than Home. The one on the right is the mommies, but I guess you may have figured that out already. If we don’t look all that distraught, it is only because we were drinking excellent wine and reminiscing about all the fun the kitties had in high school, leading to some pre-ulcerative conditions in the mommies. So we found quite quickly that we weren’t really all that distraught.
Then on Thursday, we decided to take a group picture the way the young whippersnappers do:
But it just came out as dark roots and close ups of people’s chests.
So then Gina got a tripod from somewhere in her house and we spent a full 40 minutes attempting to use a timer. She changed the batteries in her camera three times. It seems her mother-in-law has a bit of a battery fetish and sends them to Gina quite often. Except we think maybe they’re from the Dollar General Store and have been expired for nearly a decade before they make it to Gina’s. Finally, because between the seven of us we probably represented about $100,000 (in 1980s dollars) of higher education, we decided to take turns being the photographer.
And we laughed about Gina’s housekeeper, who, upon being asked to speak more quietly while exclaiming about the new sink, on account of Gina was on the phone alerting relatives about an unexpected death in the family, promptly put on her hat and walked out the door. Never to return. After decades of working there.
I get awfully excited about new sinks, but I’m thinking this lady may have been just a l-i-i-t-t-l-e high strung.
So, if you are a mom who is missing your off-to-college tot, here is my sage advice: