A humorous look at the little things in life

Vote for the ugliest school picture. It’ll make you feel great about yourself. August 6, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashleyolsonrosen @ 6:28 pm

Recommended wine for today’s entry: Today I’m recommending a beaujolais nouveau, a fairly fruity red wine that is best served slightly chilled, at about 55 degrees. Interestingly, each vintage is released on the third Thursday of November at 12:01 a.m. 2009 was, according to Wine Spectator, an excellent year for the beaujolais nouveau, and the winner of their tasting was Domaine de la Madone Beaujolais-Villages from Jean Bererd & Fils (88 points, $13). You can read more about it at I think that’s a good choice for a hot summer Friday night.

Recently, I spewed forth a bunch of drivel about school pictures (if you were fortunate enough to duck it the first time, here you go: I asked, no, I pleaded with you, to send me YOUR hideous gap-toothed, pimpled, squinty-eyed, buck-toothed, photo-gray glassesed (I made that word up) school pics.

But even though you are very nice people, I am sure, and I appreciate your loyal readership (11,000 hits — my mom’s been busy!), I received only ONE picture.

It was from my friend Susan. The whole school picture topic began while she was doing my hair a couple months ago. Because we are very competitive people and always want to be the BEST at everything we do, we are each convinced that we are uglier than anyone else in the WHOLE WORLD — including each other.

I have to say, hers is bad. But you saw mine — and if you didn’t, I’m going to give you another shot at it, a gesture which may be viewed by a psychologist as a form of self-mutilation.

Just to give you a little background, Susan now looks very much like Faith Hill … and is a hairdresser who is in such high demand that you have to make appointments super far in advance. (The hair thing is important.)

Also, she informed me that her mother (don’t we always blame the poor mother?) MUST have known that it was picture day, because she isn’t dressed in her Catholic school uniform. With that in mind, she’s not sure why no one combed her hair.

Anyway, I am offering a very quick poll — which of these children is MORE PATHETIC? Very simply: Which is worse?

Please. Take a second and vote. There’s honor and maybe a little money at stake here.

I’ll let you know what you decide. AND I STILL WELCOME OTHER PHOTOS!!…


2 Responses to “Vote for the ugliest school picture. It’ll make you feel great about yourself.”

  1. Pennie Medley Says:

    Wish I could find my second grade picture. I could beat both of you, hands down. I had brown hornrimmed glasses, a really really bad home perm, AND my mom trimmed my bangs that very morning (extremely short and very crooked, of course). To top it off, she dressed me in a darling (her adjective, not mine) red plaid wool dress. The next year, they found out that I was allergic to wool. Unattractive and miserable, all rolled up in one kid!

    • ashleyolsonrosen Says:

      FIND IT, PENNIE! That sounds like a sure winner! I’m going to post a couple more in the next few weeks — I bet there’s a copy of it around somewhere. Why did every mother in the 1960s think they were qualified to cut hair?

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