funnierwithwine

A humorous look at the little things in life

Oh, the humiliating things mothers can do… October 19, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashleyolsonrosen @ 3:32 pm

Recommended wine for today’s entry: Basa Rueda Blanco. This is one of my nutty friend Tippi’s favorites … and not only is she really funny, she has great taste in wines! A description on the Wine Weekly blog describes it as “a vibrant nose of green unripe fruit with a distinct grassiness characteristic of Sauvignon Blanc.”( http://www.wineweekly.com/wine-reviews/white-wine-review-basa-rueda-blanco/) It’s Spanish and affordable. And, like Tippi, it’s always fun!

Today I have to pass along a funny story related to me by my weird friend Tippi, who, incidentally was born as a Phyllis but changed her name to Tippi, apparently in an attempt to emulate a woman who got her eyes pecked out by a swarm of black, greasy birds in a really old movie.

Tippi has a really sweet, smart daughter who is interested in many things, from horses to fencing (not horse fences, the sharp sword kind). She in no way deserves the things her mother does to humiliate her.

We all remember how HORRIFYING the first month of school was, right? Multiply that by 100 if you are a freshman and attending a very large public school, where you don’t know many people because you didn’t go to the middle school that feeds into this institution.

And where are there the highest concentrations of people all in one place? Lunchroom? Well, it certainly seemed to be well populated the first week of high school when I dropped my lunch tray. But that’s not the HIGHEST concentration, because kids eat in shifts. Football game? Nope, not everyone is a sports fan.

The one place where the whole school is at one time? The drop-off circle in the few minutes before the opening bell.

Buses filled with 100+ students staring out the windows, carloads of “popular kids” arriving after meeting for breakfast at Waffle House, other kids being dropped off in carpool line, teachers assigned to maintain the order.

This is the time and place for total humiliation.

It started innocently. Tippi and her daughter got into the car in the garage and headed out for school. After driving for a few minutes, Tippi noticed a strange sound, assumed it was from “teenager music” and drove along, winding through the high-falutin’ neighborhoods that take them to the school. Finally, she turned down the radio and listened – the car was, indeed, making a strange noise.

At the light, turning on to the highway, someone beeped and Tippi waved and waved, trying to figure out how she knew the friendly guy in the blue pickup. Huh – then a little later — oddly – there was someone else who knew her. She returned his enthusiastic wave. Now, feeling exceedingly popular, Tippi turned into the school.

They edged their way through carpool line and commented about the fact that the car only made the strange noise when they moved. Then her daughter got out and disappeared into the building.

She probably wished she had disappeared into thin air, because, when her mother returned home, she saw that she had been scooting a large red cooler in front of her car the whole way to school, the whole way through carpool line, and the whole way home.

And I can’t help but remember that it was the same crazy friend, Tippi, who kept her dead cat in a cooler for like a whole weekend until she had time to bury it. And I don’t mean in a cooler in the backyard — this cat in a cooler accompanied her in her car, on a canoeing trip … everywhere. (Dead cats LOVE canoeing, I heard.)

I hope Tippi has a lot of coolers. I hope she didn’t scoot the dead-cat cooler through carpool line. Actually, now that I think about it, … I REALLY hope the cooler she served me pimiento cheese from at the last tailgating outing wasn’t the dead-cat cooler. Ewww…

And to think, I was mortified that my mother came up to school for Booster Club.

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One Response to “Oh, the humiliating things mothers can do…”

  1. April in Virginia Says:

    LOL. I am thinking that this is the same Tippi who used to be the law librarian for a respected Louisville law firm…Fun girl to chat with when you were tired of reading BNA looseleaf services in the afternoon….


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