funnierwithwine

A humorous look at the little things in life

What do you say when a possum comes to the door? August 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashleyolsonrosen @ 8:29 pm

Recommended wine for today’s entry: Tonight I’m just going to have a glass of Kenwood Merlot. It is described on the Kenwood Web site as a full-bodied, supple and flavorful Merlot featuring plum, berry, vanilla and chocolate notes, a good balance and soft tannins. Looks like it sells for about $20-$23; I feel sure that the bottle I have was a gift from a nice party guest at some time!

 First, to take care of some business – I need your wine recommendations! Otherwise, people who don’t share my taste in wine are going to stop reading this blog, or worse yet, stop drinking wine! No-o-o-o, just kidding. But PLEASE send your faves to me at ashleyrosen@bellsouth.net. Come on, do it – I just gave you a reason to drink more wine.

 Now, I am having a glass of red wine tonight because tomorrow is my first cholesterol check up since the doc gave me the “uh-oh” look six months ago. I will be happy to report to you how it goes. As much as I hate going to the doctor, I feel sure that he hates when I go to the doctor worse.

 If you read yesterday’s blog, you know that I spent a large part of the day (and, unfortunately, I wasn’t able to clean the house as planned) trying to extricate a wayward and quite stupid bird from my wide open garage. Well, the good news: After standing in the driveway and chirping; running through the open doors while flapping our wings; and “softly banging on a box,” as recommended by some other novice on the Internet; my daughter and I were able to free said fowl!

 We did this very strategically. The poor thing was quite exhausted after flying hither and yon for 22 hours solid and found a safe haven in a large plastic milk crate on the tippee top shelf in the garage. So, ever so stealthily, I climbed up the stepstool located nearby, which was in perfect position for the snare. (The stool has to stay in the garage because when I slaved to install the new central vacuum system last summer, I failed to notice that the “start” button was five feet above my head. Doh!)

 Anyway, I climbed up, silent as a cat, and WHAM! I threw the cardboard tri-fold from my daughter’s senior project over top of the milk crate. Then WHAM! The dumb little creature shot out of the built-in handle on the side, right toward my face at about 40 m.p.h. Well, you haven’t seen a 48-year-old scramble like that since, probably, ever.

 Undaunted, I took another blood pressure pill and waited. Stupid bird went right back in. But this time, my daughter and I put our heads together, and with a combined IQ that might reach into the “normal” range … we got him! A towel, held tightly over all four handles … done. We freed him, and he flew off, about two feet of cobwebs trailing from his little talons as he soared into the sky.

 Later in the afternoon, in similar fashion, I saved a baby bunny from a stalking cat. Then I had to give Leroy, the garage kitty (but not the one who almost nailed the bunny) her medicine for the fungal infection in her nose. (Just an update – she is mending nicely and hasn’t required a mommy-and-kitty sauna in days.) Anyway, after giving Leroy her meds, I checked a wound on the OTHER garage kitty who has taken up residence in the garage.

 Finally, it was wine time and I way deserved it. I had dealt with too many varmints today. So I poured a glass and relaxed for a minute, immersing myself in Jon and Kate Plus Eight and their plight.

 Then I remembered that my daughters were due home soon, so I went to check that the lights in the driveway were on.

 So I opened the door to the garage. And there, on the front step, stood a possum.

 We just stared at each other for a minute, then, not knowing what to say, I said, “Hey. Hi. Possum. Hold on a minute,” and I closed the door gently.

 I am starting to think I could adjust to city life.

 And for the record, if you bang a cardboard box gently as a way to scare a bird out of the garage, it just makes them poop on your arm.

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