funnierwithwine

A humorous look at the little things in life

All mothers had to do in the 1960s was answer the door July 14, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — ashleyolsonrosen @ 8:57 pm

Recommended wine for today’s entry: In yesterday’s Courier-Journal, Tamara Ikenberg recommended a wine called Mommy’s Time Out. Yes! I am going to try it based on the name alone. It’s a pinot grigio and it’s under $10. I could buy a case at a time and never have to leave home…

I am exhausted this evening from running errands.

I know, many of you worked a full day, then ran errands and are now probably cooking up a nutritious, hot meal for your family. A couple of you overachievers are probably throwing a sprig of parsley from your garden on the plate for garnish. You’ll probably eat at a table, using something like placemats or something, then you’ll take a family walk and eat dessert.

Well, this isn’t attainable for me. Because I run errands all day and then I am too tired to cook, clean or be nice to my family.

Today, after I hauled the 60-pound pack of water into my cart at Costco, then lifted it from the cart (this is nearly impossible) and put it into my car, then UNLOADED it again, my arm hurt so badly that I had to put ice on it for an hour before I could put away the rest of the stuff, which left Costco frozen but spent some time in the black car in 90 degrees and felt a little, well, squishy by the time my arm was OK to finish unloading. Don’t tell my husband. He has had more than one bout with a “tricky stomach” that could be traced back to my less-than-diligent food safety techniques.

But really. I go to the grocery, I would say, five times a week.

And still, every day, someone says something like “Do we have bread?” WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME? I BOUGHT BREAD THE OTHER DAY. I’M SURE THERE’S BREAD. Then I make a dramatic move to the pantry (sure that they just can’t find it), grab the wrapper and start pressing together the remnants of pieces that we pulled from to give the dog his pill. “See?” I say, triumphantly holding up an obelisk of bread. “You just sometimes have to put some effort into it.”

Then we take the newly formed pieces of bread, melt some crusty old shredded cheese on them (everything old is new again with a microwave), blow the cat hair off the TV trays and eat dinner at 9:00 while watching people put staples in their forehead on America’s Got Talent.

In the 1960s, no one ever had to run errands. Little men brought everything to them. Women sat around in their Jackie Kennedy suits and listened for the doorbell.

Ding! Here’s the little man in the goofy hat with a bread delivery from Donaldson’s bakery, fresh and soft and in whole pieces.

Ding! Oh, that must be the milkman, lowering milk, eggs and even ice cream into the very attractive galvanized metal box next to the front door.

Ding! Want chips with that egg sandwich? Charlie’s Chips – a giant metal can of them, right here at the door. Good Lord! If we had all that, I swear, I would never leave my house.

Kids getting on their nerves? No problem. They could send the children to the neighborhood parks, where counselors supervised as we bashed each other in the foreheads with baseball bats and sat in poison ivy.

When we finally came home, they sent us to the corner where the Bookmobile was parked. They waited at home while we jumped into a van with a strange man and selected our five library books for the week.

Then, to ensure that we were getting enough exercise, they dug in the bottom of their purses until the ice cream truck was rolling away, then, voila! Here’s one – now chase that truck down the street like a dog. Go! And off we went. We didn’t need gymnastics classes, soccer leagues.

And if mom needed some liquid eyeliner to draw her cat eyes for the Saturday night party? Just call and the Avon lady will be there the next day.

If they ran out of Household Cleaning Aids, Industrial Cleaners, Polishes & Wax Products, Cotton & Synthetic Mops, Floor Brushes & Brooms, Stainless Steel Sponges, Twisted Wire Brushes & Swabs, Personal Care Brushes, Lotions and Fragrances, Hair Care Aids, or more… they just called the Fuller Brush man. Ding! Done.

I would only have to leave the house for wine and dog food. I have a Jackie Kennedy suit and a doorbell. I’m waiting.

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3 Responses to “All mothers had to do in the 1960s was answer the door”

  1. cebette Says:

    Love it! Brings back great memories. Loved those Charles Chips…

    And in the early 70’s there was a short lived grocery idea that my mom glammed onto immediately where you could phone in your food order and it was delivered to the door! Ah, if only Graeter’s would do that…

  2. Mary Ingmire Says:

    I remember Charles’ Chips. And the Avon lady lived (and still lives) up the street. Bookmobiles — ahhhh! the memories.

  3. Bammy Says:

    nice reflections! How well I remember Mr Miller and his fruit truck he drove up to the house twice a week and when mjy mom bought veggies, he always gave me a bunch of grapes!!


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